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Year in Review - 2019 Done, 40 Games Beaten!

12in12 List - January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December
Warning: Long post ahead!
After a year I finally finished up my first 12in12 challenge. I'm happy to say that this challenge has been an enormous help in trying to size down my backlog.
First things first, here are some general stats about last year:
  • Total games beaten: 40 (3 replays)
  • 100% completion games: 6
  • Abandoned games: 3
  • Total time spent on beaten games: ±654 hours (±16,5 hours per game)
  • Longest Game: Fire Emblem: Three Houses (55 hours)
  • Shortest Game: Abzû (1,5 hours)

Top 10 Games I Played in 2019

I'll start with my top 10 favourite games I've played this year. I played a TON of fantastic games this year, so it was really hard for me to pin it down to just 10. In the past weeks I switched a lot of games around, but in the end I finally came up with the following list:
10 - AI: The Somnium Files
The creators of the famous Zero Escape game series really didn't disappoint with this spiritual successor. In this game you play as a detective who delves into peoples dreams to solve the mystery behind a serial murderer. The plot has a lot of twists and turns and can result in multiple very different endings depending on which choices you make. It all ends in a satisfying conclusion that nicely wrapped up all the questions I had without ending up in a disappointment.
9 - Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
This year Tales of Vesperia turned 10 years old. To celebrate we got the definitive edition localized on all modern consoles and pc. I really enjoyed my time with this game. The game has a fantastic cast of characters (except Karol) with a really enjoyable story which is pretty much all you need for a JRPG. The game will also keep you busy for a while because it has a ton of content. The dungeons are relatively small, but the game makes up for it by giving you a massive amount of dungeons to explore. The game took me about 45 hours to beat, but it has as much content as some 60+ hour games have. On top of that there is also a pretty big postgame to delve into.
8 - Dishonored
I was really surprised how much I enjoyed this game. While it is a stealth game, it manages to be very exciting by giving you a ton of options to complete your objectives and cool magical abilities to interact with the environments. This is all topped off with some fantastic environmental design. There is a lot of verticality and a ton of attention to detail which makes traversing the environments a joy.
7 - Catherine
This game is a fantastic example of how to use a seemingly simple gameplay mechanic to its fullest potential. The premise of the game is simple: each night you need to ascent a tower of movable blocks or you die. It's amazing how many different stacking mechanics you can use to make your way to the top. I was really bad at this game when I first started out, but I gradually learned to master the gameplay which was really satisfying. It's also one of these games which are insanely satisfying to watch if they are played by really good players.
6 - Danganronpa V3
This year I finished up the Danganronpa trilogy with the final game V3. While I have mixed feelings towards the ending, I still felt like V3 had the best selection of class trials and the best cast of characters the series has to offer. Now I'm just really sad that there probably wont ever be another Danganronpa game.
5 - Fire Emblem: Three Houses
This year we finally got another console Fire Emblem game and it didn't disappoint. This game gives you, not one, not two, not three, but four campaigns to delve into, which all take at least 30 hours to beat. Aside from this the game also improves upon the previous entries by making the cast of characters act like actual people. They all have there own backstory and are more than just the one-dimensional caricatures you often see in other games. Furthermore, the game doesn't dump character after character in your party, so you get the chance to properly connect with them. The only real negative about this game is that the maps are a bit bland and that the monastery sections get really repetitive if you want to do all the campaigns.
4 - Crosscode
Crosscode is the most ambitious indie game I have ever played. It has a pretty long main story with multiple dungeons, towns and overworld areas. It has a ton of sidequests which are often not just a generic fetch quest, but something more unique like a minigame. The combat system is fun and there are a lot of upgrades and even different elements to mix things up. The game's pixel art looks gorgeous, the enemies are very detailed. To top it all off, the story is actually surprisingly good after the slow first half. I don't think I need to say that I really enjoyed my time with Crosscode. It's not the most approachable game. The start is pretty slow and the puzzles and combat can be really challenging, but if you can get past that you will have an amazing time with this game.
3 - NieR: Automata
This game is really cool and unique. NieR: Automata really stands out with how it handles its gameplay and progression. Gameplay constantly changes: one moment you play a 2D shmup section, another moment it is a 3D action RPG, another moment it's a weird hacking game but a moment later it could be a text adventure and somehow nearly everything manages to be fun. This game constantly wants your attention with it's breathtaking set pieces, fantastic music and engaging storytelling. And just when you think you are done and see the credits roll, you discover that the game still has multiple campaigns to experience.
2 - Outer Wilds
Outer Wilds, not to be confused with The Outer Worlds, is one of if not the best exploration/mystery game I've ever played. This is a game that you need to play without being spoiled so I will keep this short. There is a moment in this game where it just clicks and you will get into a constant flow of new discoveries which lead to other discoveries and it is one of the most enjoyable gameplay loops I've ever had the joy to experience. It's not perfect, it takes some time to fully click with you and it has some frustrating moments (looking at you Brittle Hollow), but it's a game I will not soon forget.
However….. there is still one game I enjoyed just slightly more than Outer Wilds.
1 - Baba is You
When I played the gamejam version of Baba is You earlier this year I really enjoyed my time with it. I heard that a full game would be coming out and I was really excited for it. Little did I know how much better the Baba is You would be than the already good gamejam version. Baba is You is a puzzle game where you can actually change the rules of the game itself. For example, you can remove the rule that a wall stops you so you can now walk through the wall. You can also turn the walls into the controllable character. Baba is You does a fantastic job at destroying your preconceptions of various gaming rules. And then the game goes further than that and then even further than that so the game just keeps on surprising you. I've never binged a puzzle game so hard as Baba is You. For several weeks I was constantly thinking about how to solve a certain puzzle. If you like breaking your brain over some puzzles, I highly recommend checking this game out.


Worst Game of the Year - A Story About my Uncle
I really didn't enjoy my time with this game. The only reason I beat it was, because it was short. The main gameplay mechanic is a grapple hook which you can use to swing your way across gaps. Sounds good right? Well.... sometimes it feels good but often it just feels incredibly clunky. Especially in the last level where there isn't a lot of space to move around in with the grapple mechanic which just leads to frustration. On top of that the game has a boring story with voice actors which sound like they were bored to death as well.
Runner up: Abzû
This game looks gorgeous and has a pretty good soundtrack. It's a joy to look at with all the fish swimming around. But to actually play it is another story. The main gameplay consists of swimming and looking solving 'puzzles' by looking for a chain to pull at to open a door. It often feels like you are doing the same section over and over again. The story isn't that great either. Abzû is not an awful game, but there is just not that much to it besides the visuals.

Biggest Surprise - Dishonored
Dishonored was my first stealth game I've ever played. Stealth sections in other games are often tedious and frustrating so I didn't expect much. I was pleasantly surprised with how much freedom Dishonored gave me in how to tackle a mission. If one way didn't work out, you didn't have to slam your head against a wall until you got it, but you could just try another way. The game also offered more than just stealth, the environments are a joy to explore and there is a lot of lore to collect for those interested. I can't wait to play Dishonored 2 next year.
Runner up: Baba is You
I was already really looking forward to playing Baba is You. Yet somehow the game still managed to surprise me with how much more could be done with the mechanic than was shown in the gamejam version. Especially with how far the concept is taken in the endgame.

Biggest Disappointment - Cadence of Hyrule
When this game was announced I was really excited about it. When it launched I was sadly left disappointed. It's a classic example of combining two great things and coming out with something that is a lot worse in the end. I felt like the procedurally generated world really end up hurting this game. Key items weren't hand placed, so there couldn't be a set progression path. The end result was a game that just didn't feel balanced to me at all. It started out way too difficult, but after a few upgrades it became laughably easy. The only way to keep yourself challenged was to intentionally limit yourself or to play as the ultra difficult optional character. This week a new campaign came out. I haven't tried it yet, but hopefully it doesn't have the same problems as the main game.
Runner up: Untitled Goose Game
I went into this game with pretty low expectations and while I enjoyed my time with it I still felt disappointed because of the wasted potential. In this game you play as an asshole goose who needs to ruin everyone's day by completing certain objectives. Most of these objectives felt way too simple for me, often requiring only one step to beat. There could have been so many cool interactive objectives, but most of them just felt too tame for me. I still really liked the ending sequence though.

Best Story - What Remains of Edith Finch
This game is about the family Finch, the unluckiest family ever. Every member of the Finch family dies in a very unfortunate way. In this game you explore the house of the Finch family to discover how everyone died in cool vignettes. The house truly feels like people lived in there and it has a ton of small details to further enhance the narrative. It's a pretty simple story, but it's told really well which made it stand out to me.
Runner up: AI: The Somnium Files
In AI the Somnium Files you need to uncover the mystery surrounding a serial killer. In this story you will meet a lot of characters which each have their own personal backstory to tell. The overarching story fun to unravel with each ending putting a piece in the puzzle in place. The game keeps you guessing and it all ends in a satisfying conclusion which wraps up all the events nicely.

Best Cast of Characters - VA-11 HALL-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action
This game is all about the characters. You play as bartender Jill who meets all kinds of weird, but lovable and interesting costumers in the cyberpunk Glitch City. As you serve drinks they will tell you their story and so you gradually build a relationship as these characters revisit your bar. These characters vary from a journalists, to a pop idol to a talking dog to a robot prostitute. I had a ton of fun just serving some drinks and enjoying the stories which these interesting characters had to tell. It all ends in a really wholesome ending.
Runner up: Fire Emblem: Three houses
Fire Emblem Three Houses has a fantastic cast of characters. In this game you are a teacher at Garreg Mach Monastery. Here prominent students from the three houses of the continent come to study about war tactics and leadership. Each student has a lot of character and is more than just a set of character traits. They each have their own fleshed out backstory that you learn once you get to know them more. And the roster of characters is kept small enough to allow you to create a bond with all the characters. The characters were definitely a highlight of the series and I hope future entries will look at Three Houses in how to handle their cast of characters.

Best Soundtrack - NieR: Automata
I've played a lot of games with a great soundtrack this year, but NieR: Automata's soundtrack really stood out to me. It has a ton of memorable tracks that I still listen to every now and then. Some of my favourite tracks include City Ruins, Vague Hope and Weight of the World. Highly recommend you to give it a listen.
Runner up: A Hat in Time
It was pretty had to pick a runner up, but in the end I'm gonna give it to A Hat in Time. It doesn't have the most complex soundtrack, but its tracks are just so catchy and fun to listen to. Some of my favourite tracks include Scootin' through Maffia Town, The Windmill Peak and Rush Hour.

Best Level - Farewell (Celeste)
In september the long awaited final level for Celeste finally dropped and I'm happy to say it didn't disappoint. It is the longest and most challenging level in the game and I had a blast beating it. The new elements added are a lot of fun and really fit in well with the rest of the game. This was all supported by yet another fantastic soundtrack made by Lena Raine.
Runner up: Lady Boyle's Last Party (Dishonored)
This mission really stood out to me. In this mission you are tasked with infiltrating a masked ball to identify and take out the target. Unlike other missions you are actually allowed to be seen and you can mingle with the crowd, but you still need to be careful to identify the target and take her out without anybody noticing. There are multiple ways to enter the party and there are multiple ways to complete the mission. If you want to you can just break into the mansion and kill everyone. It's all up to you.

Best ability/powerup - Bash (Ori and the Blind Forest)
Bash is a great example of an ability that truly enhances every aspect of the game. With the Bash ability you can bash of enemies and enemy projectiles. This is not only useful for platforming but also enhances the combat as you can bash an enemy projectile back to the enemy. Before you got the bash ability combat basically came down to button mashing, so bash added some much needed complexity to the combat. The game wouldn't have been nearly is fun without the Bash ability.
Runner up: Remote Drone (Axiom Verge)
Axiom Verge has some really good abilities, even for a metroidvania. Between the Address Disruptor and the Remote Drone, my choice goes to the Remote Drone. You can use the Remote Drone to get through small gaps that are too big to get into yourself, but you can also use it to scout the area ahead without having to put yourself in danger. Overal just a great upgrade that really enhances your options to traverse the alien world.

Best Bossfight - Ancient Guardian (Crosscode)
In my top 10 I already talked about how great Crosscode is, but I didn't mention that it also has some amazing bossfights. A lot of these bossfights do not only test you on your combat skills, but also require some puzzle solving in order to beat them. My favourite boss was the Ancient Guardian, a monkey riding a flying whale, who you fight at the end of a series of challenging dungeons. Visually the boss looks ridiculous, the mechanics are fun to master and the bossfight changes depending on whether you beat the whale or the monkey first.
Runner up: Final Boss C/D Route (NieR: Automata)
While not as good as the bossfights in Crosscode, NieR: Automata also has some really fun bossfights to overcome. My favourite one was the final boss from route C/D. Obvious spoilers ahead: In the C and D routes you are constantly switching between playing A2 and 9S. A clash between the two androids is bound to happen and the game does a fantastic job at building tension to the final confrontation. The fight is pretty simple mechanically speaking, but the music and dialogue really made this a memorable final boss fight.

2020 Games List

Month Game - Platform
Jan Dragon Quest XI S - Nintendo Switch
Feb The House in Fata Morgana - PC
Mar Legend of Heroes: Trails of the Sky - PC
Apr Steins; Gate - PC
May Divinity Original Sin 2 - PC
Jun Dishonored 2 - PC
Jul Heaven's Vault - PC
Aug Legend of Heroes: Trails of the Sky SC - PC
Sep Bayonetta 1+2 - Nintendo Switch
Oct Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions - Android
Nov Yakuza 0 - PC
Dec Steins; Gate 0 - PC

Wrapping up

If you somehow managed to read through all of that, congrats! I hope you had as much fun participating in the 12in12 challenge as I did. I wish everyone a great Christmas and New Years and I will be back next month with my first progress report of 2020.
submitted by Ferrumn to 12in12

On the brink of a major discovery

I blink through the sleep in my eyes and my scientific partner's face looms over me. He is nothing short of elated as a toothy smile blazes on his face, causing deep wrinkles of stress to turn into deep crevices of elation.
I return his smile and groggily ask, "I'm guessing it worked, then?"
"Did it work?!" He shouts down at me, joy pushing more volume than he probably intended into his voice. I couldn't blame him though, adrenaline began pumping into me as the obvious success of our experiment began pushing away any sleepiness my body still felt.
"Not only did it work," Roger continues on, moving his hands above and past my eyesight, the subliminal pressure around my head lessening as he pulls the band encircling it away "it worked with more clarity and displayed more detail than we dared hope for!"
The slight tug at my temple from the pad's adhesive tells me the device had been fully removed from my head, and I bring myself to a sitting position to hang my legs off to the side of the lounger I had just been sleeping on, stretching them out in front of me.
I watch Roger dart across the lab and securely rest the recorder around a dense-styrofoam bust.
"So, how embarrassed should I be?" I ask as I stand up and stretch my arms upward.
"Oh, extremely, but that fact has nothing to do with what we were able to capture!"
His reply sends a chuckle rolling through my body as I make my way past the floor-to-ceiling computer-cabinet Roger had disappeared behind. He was jumping through windows on the screen more quickly than I could ever manage. Each screen lit up his eager face as he whispered, “This is it, this is it…” under his breath.
“But really, Roger, are we going to be able to submit the whole recording or will we have to make some edits? He peels his eyes up from the screen and to mine, his smile never wavering.
“You should be fine. Of course you’ll be able to look over the files before we make any moves, but nothing too embarrassing popped up.”
Oh god. “ Too embarrassing?” I ask.
Roger’s smile somehow widens further as he looks back down and begins clicking through the screens again.
“Well,” he starts off slowly, “the first instance was basically last week here at the lab. Your mind went through a few conversations, visualized some the problems we were working on, and then showcased that date you went on last Tuesday.”
“Oh… uh, did it-”
“No, no it changed to the next instance half way through dinner, but that is when it started to obviously corrupt.”
“In what way?” I ask, as Roger click a few more times before turning the screen around for me to see. A window filled half the screen, taking precedence over the ones behind it. A large, white “7%” against a blue background was contained within it.
“Apparently,” Roger began, “you ordered the surfboard medium-rare and your lovely date had a mustache that moved about her face.” He finished with a sly grin.
“Well, obviously the surfboard shouldn’t be there and her mustache didn’t move around that much.” We share a laugh and continue on.
“But that right there confirms what we thought earlier, right?” I say, as Roger turns the screen back around and slowly begins nodding his head at the screen.
“It’s becoming more and more likely. How many years ago were you in your surfing phase?”
I walk around to the other side of the screen, Roger still flying through the data like only he could, and sit down next to him.
“Four. Well, closer to five now, I guess.”
“Uh-huh, and when was the last time you dated a woman with a mustache?”
A stream of air escapes my lips as I jokingly hit Roger’s shoulder. He laughs without ever taking his eyes off of the screen.
I ask, “Can you show me that actually?”
His eyes flick over to mine, now smiling with teeth, “I can.” He answers with cold-triumph.
A few clicks later and a video fills half the screen, the other half he fills with the window containing the white percentage with a blue background. “0%” is displayed.
Roger increases the playback speed as I watch my unconsciousness played back for me. Scenes from around the lab fade in and out of each other. The clarity stunning me, and besides a few dream-inconsistencies (like no one ever having any pockets or objects and people appearing and disappearing at will) it was like watching a recording on my phone.
As the playback continued on, the white percentage slowly increased and the reality in the video became more obviously dream-like until showing 7% where I was having dinner with my apparently handsome date.
“See?” Roger asks. “There’s the surfboard you ordered, cooked to your liking. And your date with a caterpillar scootin all around her face.”
“I kinda want to show her this, but she probably wouldn’t appreciate it.”
“Ha, no, probably not.” Roger replies before asking, “Does this mustache look familiar, can you place it?”
I stare at it for a little longer, trying to remember, but as the percentage reaches “11%” it flies away.
“Hmm, kinda looks like my Dad’s, but not exactly… Oh! No, my roommate back in college had that style for a bit! We convinced him to get rid of it after a week because it made him look like he should be offering candy out of a van.”
With Roger being as giddy as he was already, that sent him into a laughing fit for a little bit, during which I take over the mouse and angle the screen a bit more towards me. I skim through the video to see what else was captured from my sleeping mind.
Roger stands up and starts to busy himself with other points of data on another computer.
The recording continues on, becoming more and more dream-like as the corruption from past memories begin to warp any concrete instances to such an extent that in a few minutes of viewing, I'm flying through my old childhood home, talking to Roger with floor-length hair that would change color every few seconds. The white-percentage read “59%”.
I turn to Roger and begin saying, “I think you should go for this style of hair than whatever you've got going on n-” but stop before finishing when I see he is no longer behind the other computer. I hear snapping behind me and turn to see Roger has moved to the bust containing the recorder. He finishes securing the clamps of the steel transport carrier around the device and drums his fingers on its surface.
“Taking it home with you?”
“Oh definitely. The missus is out of town to her sister's and it's just going to be me and Junior tonight.” Roger carefully hefts the the carrier off the table and places it on the ground. “As entertaining as Roger Jr.'s gurglings are, I can work on this while he plays in his pen. I'm already not going to be able to sleep because of him, might as well tighten up some of the programming.”
“Can't argue with you on that.” I reply. “And I know this goes without saying, but just be careful with it, try not to let Junior drool all over it. Or you, for that matter.” I finish with a smile.
“Of course!” Roger replies, gathering the case up against his chest. His eyes seem to go to distant for a second as if lost in a sudden thought and repeats under his breath, “Of course...”
I'm about to ask what's on his mind, but before I can, he brings himself out of what track he was on and smiles his electric smile at me. “ Are you fine with closing up? I can stay to help if you want, but I'm worried about chancing the traffic and making Julie late for her sister's.”
“No, go, it's fine! I'll probably stay here a bit longer myself, document the recording a little more thoroughly and see if there are any tweaks I can make. I'll run them by you in the morning before implementing, of course.”
“Fantastic, Alex, really.” Roger says to me, as he maneuvers the steel case to rest against the edge of the desk, freeing one of his hands to place on my shoulder. His happiness melts in gratitude and says “I'm not lying when I see we've done a great thing here. I've been working on this for years before you arrived and you have proved just as, if not more valuable than me in having this come to fruition.” I begin to wave him of and protest, but he shakes my shoulder once and continues ”I mean it. And I cannot thank you enough. Because of what we have here,” he rocks the case forward with his other hand, ”I know my family will never have to worry about another bill, you will have the freedom to pursue any one of your personal projects with full-funding, and were opening a whole, new avenue of study for the world” Roger's green eyes begin to get a little watery. I was about to give him small grief for that, but the lump in my throat made that difficult.
We stare at each other for another second until he uses his free arm to pull me in to a quick hug and a slap on my back and I return the gesture. In one fluid motion, he pulls his arm away and cups it underneath the steel-carrier and begins heading to the door.
“Oh,” Roger says, looking over his shoulder, “Julie says you'll have to stop by again soon, said Junior gets all giddy when you do that airplane game with him.”
I push my words around the lump in my throat, “Of course! I have another date later this week, but we'll figure out something around that.”
“Hopefully she shaves this time.” Roger shoots back with a crooked smile.
“Screw you! Get outta here!” I reply and Roger exits through the door with a laugh and a small wave behind his shoulder.
After the door closes behind him, I walk around the computer cabinet and stand in front of the coffee pot. Might as well brew another pot, it's going to be a long night.
“This is going to blow Roger's mind.” I can't stop thinking to myself as I maneuver in between cars on the highway. The new LED street lamps give a clear glow into the deep night as I increasingly near Roger's house.
There was no doubt he would appreciate knowing what I had I found as soon as I could tell him, rather than wait for morning. I had tried to call his cell, but he likes to keep that on silent when he's with his kid. And yeah, it's late, but he's going to be up with junior and the recorder anyway.
I eye my laptop bag in the passenger seat as I take the exit leading off to his house, making sure it doesn't topple to the car floor.
The recording was not static. With each playback, it would change. Slowly, at first, and in the beginning it was barely noticeable. It started as I was going through what was captured, trying to connect any of the corruptions with other memories bleeding into what was being shown. Roger and I had this theory where dreams went “off-the-tracks” because past experiences would be be recalled at the same time you were experiencing whatever you were mainly dreaming about. Later down the line, once we could the basic recording down, we were going to try to filter out those corruptions so you could have a true 1:1 playback of your memories.
It was going to be wonderful! We had theories on how to do just that and we were on the brink of starting stage 2. But one thing that never entered our minds was that the corruptions would belong to someone else.
The red light I was idling at turns green and I lurch forward with a little more oomph than I had intended, causing a small squeal from my tires on the wet road . I make eye contact with a cop car stationed outside a bodega, and give a small, awkward wave. Luckily he lets me go on without harassment. Roger's house wasn't far now.
I noticed something was off when the corruption percentage began increasing at higher rates with each play-through. By the fourth play-through, the corruption percentage during dinner with my date read 15% instead of 7%. My date's traveling mustache was still there, but tendrils like a squid's began growing out of her face and what looked like shadows covered surfaces that were perfectly lit before. I had gotten to the part where I was flying through my old home with Roger's techni-color dream hair and my house had become warped and dilapidated. I stopped the playback when dream-Roger had attacked me, completely changing what we had seen before. The percentage had jumped from the original 59% to 89% at that point.
My worn brake-pads squeak out into the night as I park in Roger's driveway. He lived in a nice neighborhood. I was always a little jealous, but happy for him all the same. And once we figured out this beast we created together, I could have the same thing as well. I grab my computer bag and step out of my car and onto the stone pathway leading to his front door, my car chirping locked behind me.
I check my watch, 02:11 AM. Damn, is it too late? I look at his house and see there's a light on upstairs and shadows moving across the curtain. Good, he's up and I have no doubt he will be thankful I stopped by like this.
I continue along the path and look back up at the window which sported a large crack running across it. I try to remember if that was there before and am about to knock on the door when sounds emanating from within give me pause.
Loud crashing and yelling come into focus. I try the knob and it's locked. I bang on the door and the angry sounds ricocheting down the stairs offer no hints of stopping. I drop my bag and go down to my knee as I fish the fake rock from the side and pull out the key. New sounds from Roger Jr. join the others, but they don't.... sound right. Instead of the expecting shrieks from a crying baby exposed to harsh noises, insane gigglings collect at the other side of the door.
I jam the key in and knock the door open hard enough it bounces against its hinges back at towards me. I push it to the side as I make my way in and up the stairs.
“Roger!” I shout, but nothing changes. The crashing continues to the apparent glee of Roger Jr. I round the top of the stairs and make my way across the hallway to the silhouetted door of Roger's study. Roger's voice begins to rise above the cacophony of sound.
-nnnooooo! NO! No you can't- you, I won't! I WON'T. Please, please no. Please...”
“ROGER!” I yell as I reach out and bang against the door. Something was blocking it from the other side, “ROGER!” I shout again as I bring my fist against the door.
The crashing and yells stop. Only Junior's inane giggling continues, sending the hairs across my body on end.
“Yes! Open the door Roger! I'm here to help, what's going on?!” I push my body against the door and it begins to budge, when suddenly what sounds like a saw cutting wood fills the air and the blade of a 12” kitchen knife pierces the door an inch in front of my face.
“WHAT THE FUCK, ROGER?!” I shout as I jump back from the door like a bolt of electricity went through my body. The blade wiggles in place and slides back through the door. I see what I assume to be Roger's eye peering back out at me, but instead of the usual green, a clouded white covers his eye.
My brain now only reacting and not thinking, I square my body up with the door and kick the wood located just right to the doorknob, sending the cheap, den door bursting inward. The wooden door frame splinters and chunks of wood fill the air. Roger is thrown backwards and the long blade is knocked from his grip and spins across the wooden floor.
Roger's study lay in ruin. Bookcases and painting torn from the wall and cover the floor. Large holes pepper the walls and one of the lamps lay broken under the cracked window. Roger lay convulsing and mumbling to himself in front of the play-pen containing Roger Jr. Except Roger Jr., less than two-years old, was standing in the center of it, hands clenched and giggling so loud it hurt the ears. The recorder was wrapped snug around his head, the wires connecting to the computer set up just outside the play pen. The screen had been smashed so a flickering, shattered mosaic covered the screen. The blue background and white numbering appeared in all facets of the screen, “392%”.
Junior suddenly stop his giggling and stares directly at me. Nausea spreads through my body and my head starts pounding worse than any hangover. I go down to a knee holding my head as what sounds like voices incessantly whispering fills it. I hear something scraping against the wooden floor and it grabs my attention. I turn around in time to see Roger has retrieved the knife and is now standing over me, eyes still clouded white.
“No!” I shout as I leap up from my kneeling position and throw my shoulder into Roger's ribcage. A grunt of air escapes him as he stumbles backwards. A pang of pain from nowhere shoots through head, dropping me back down as Roger recovers. He knocks me backwards and straddles me with the knife raised high. I grab onto his wrists as he drops the blade, stopping it inches from face. A second passes as both our arms shake from the effort.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT HAPPENED?!” I shout, looking into his cloudy eyes.
Through heavy breaths, Roger grunts, “We ..meddled... with ...things ..we … shouldn't ...have.” The knife getting closer and closer with each word. Sweat dripped down Roger's face as he increased his pressure behind the knife when fear replaced the unknown anger etched into it, and the pressure stopped for a brief second and green glinted in his eyes.
“They found us.” He whispers, I stare up at him, my hands still gripped around his wrists. “They found us, Alex. They found us and it's our own damn fault.” The green fully taking over his eyes once more. “It's my fault.” Still sitting above me, Roger throws his head back and lets out a wail that resonates through the room to the excited giggling of Junior behind me. Roger snaps his head back down, the cloudy white returning along with the strength behind the knife as it creeps ever closer to my face.
“We can fix this!” I urge him.
“You can't” he says with sick smile.
“What about Junior!? We need to help him!”
“Junior's gone.” He says almost elatedly, as the baby behind us giggles more.
My strength is beginning to give out as the blade has all but reached me.
“You would do this to Julie?? How is she going to react when she comes home to all this?!”
Green begins to fill his eyes again as his quick and haggard breathing turns to sobs and his sick smile turns into another open-mouthed wail. He rolls off of me and throws the knife to the other side of the room. Junior shrieks in anger for the first time since I've arrived and I bring myself up to a sitting position and see Roger standing up, his eyes as clear as they should be with tears streaming down his face.
He looks at me and shouts through Junior's angry wailing, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Destroy everything. And tell Julie...”
He looks from me to Junior who stops his wailing.
“...tell Julie I'm not a monster.”
And before my mind could even comprehend what was happening, Roger takes off in a sprint towards Junior and rips off the recorder while scooping him up in his arms. I start to push myself up, but before I can even bring myself to a standing position, the sound of shattering glass fills the room as Roger leaps through the cracked window and onto the concrete below.
The police investigation was grueling and still not completely over.
Of course I'm their prime suspect, but I caught a small bit of luck that a neighbor was returning home after a party and saw Roger leaping from the window of his own accord. Plus the cuts on Roger's body and angles of the broken glass had shown he had leaped with some force through it and wasn't simply pushed.
Junior didn't make it and Julie is an absolute wreck, understandably. I keep meaning to call her, but....
I went back to the lab the next day and destroyed our findings. I had the forethought to stash the equipment in his study so it didn't get confiscated by the police. I don't know how I would have been able to answer their questions about it had they found it.
Funding has been completely cut, and I've been blackballed by the professional community. Not sure what I'm going to do.
Two weeks pass and I'm sitting in my shitty apartment when I receive a letter in the mail from Julie. My heart sinks and I try to justify just throwing it away, but I can't and there seems to be some sort of object in the envelope as well.
The handwritten letter was short:
“Found this in the study. Didn't want it here.”
I fish the object the object out and it turns out to be a USB stick. Labeled:
“Junior's first dream”
submitted by ForYouMargo to nosleep

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